Onko 4 u (to my English readers)

My dear readers around the world! This post is 4 u! 😀 And first of all this is a german blog, and I’m sorry for my english 😀 (bad grammatic and all) But I think communication is more than that it’s the possibility to interact with each other.  (Sometimes more with hands and feet XD-So I will use my nose to write it down). I want to say, thanks for reading my blog here is my gift for you. An article in English and in onko-style!

I want to give you an overview about my diagnoses and therapy.

What it’s like to get cancer at an age of 31?

Short: It’s troublesome.

Long: In Mai 2015 I found a swollen lymphatic gland in my armpit. At first I didn’t though about cancer. I thought it would come from my new deodorant. To be really sure I went to a gynecologist. This matter changed when the doctor said „there is something in your breast and this must cut out“. This time- from „there is something“ till „I’m sorry to tell you: it is cancer“ – was like a ride with a roller coaster. I was more afraid of the unknown, and in my mind where the old pictures about mastectomy from the 80s! Because of the sentences from this doctor I was more afraid of loosing my breast than to get cancer. My friends and specially my boyfriend brought me to earth. They told me a lot about the possibilities of the medicine and we talked a lot about breasts and the function of it. (You don’t need breasts to get children or feed them, there are other possibilities). The most exhausting matter of the situation was that this doctor didn’t talked to me about the next steps, the options and choices. She didn’t talked about alternative illnesses or where she palmed the tumor. I was so lost in the machinery of medicine. (Mammography, Ultrasonic and Biopsy).

This exhausting time ended three or four weeks after the first appointment day with a call to my breast center. In this moment of my diagnose I felt relieved and taken seriously. The doctor who talked to me didn’t avoid the fact. She was very calm and told me my next steps and the first appointments with my oncologist.

What happened after the diagnose?

After my diagnose I went to a lot of check ups. They didn’t hurt and it was really interesting to get to know the function of the technical medicine. I asked a lot of questions :D. Thanks to my doctors who answered them all (and twice). Most important was to be sure there are no metastases, and my heart and organs are healthy. I went through chemotherapy, operation and radiotherapy. But the biggest change were my thinking and my view of life. A lot of my friends went through chemotherapy, too. They were my lifeline to keep going. I used a lot of positive mantas, music and activities. I disregarded bad news on television, didn’t look on obituaries in newspapers :D. And in between my walks to the ambulance, I felt truly alive. It was like to become a rainbow farting unicorn. I loved the summer days like the cold winter, and the stormy autumns ( I hate winters and dark cold hours). I didn’t felt ill, the side affects of the medicine were little low to a lot of the elderly. This is the good part to get cancer when you are young, you can master the hard stuff XD. Ok, sorry not all of it was fun but it was what I did. I made a joke of my cancer and called it Schakeline (It’s a transformation from Jaqueline a bad voicing from East Germany years ago). I transformed it to a little gnome and kicked her ass.

Very important!!!! I opened this blog to get this shit out of my head. My own psychotherapy for my friends, and family. I think it is really important to take them with you. They are afraid, too. Mostly because of the lack of information. And their helplessness. They can help a lot! Tell them and give them a productive way to handle the illness.

What does it feel to receive Chemotherapies?

It HURTS so bad-NOT! I don’t feel anything at first. After an hour of my infusion I felt tired and sometimes my nose and forehead started to prickle. The adverse effects started mostly in the afternoon 3 or 4 hours after my chemo. In this time I was at home and it knocked me down. It was like a bag of potatoes on every part of your body (no potato crisps). I were very sleepy. The day after it felt like I had a big heavy stone in my stomach. My mouth were dry and my appetite were low. I would say I was a Vampire with no energy  who was damned to lie in the bed. After a day I walked like a zombie around my home and in to the city. I make the best out of it! I watched my favorite sport events, used twitter to the fullest and read a lot of e-books from dreamspinnerpress. 😀 I think activity is important and it’s starts with the brain.

Did you change your eating habit?

Yes and No. I listened more to my stomach. At first I was afraid to loose weight and talked to a nutritionist about it. I got drinks for vitamins, calories and minerals but after some weeks I didn’t saw a lack, and stopped with it. I eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. No instant meals and an lesser extant of meat, too. I got a really great book with a lot of food and the impact on the gut. So there is chocolate, crisps,  and sugar on my list. and a very colorful diversity of fruits and vegetables.

Since august you got metastases how do you handle it?

It’s different than before. I was deeply shocked regarding the chronic situation. I had the feeling the death is waiting for me. There is no cure, and at first I was in pain. I got metastases in my bones which is a good fact, too. The medicine I got is very helpful and can stop the increase. But I had to wait for my first check up to be sure I started a new anti-hormone therapy to cut off my estrogen. It takes 3 months to see a first change. I was very nervous, tired because of fatigue and the very very exhausting paperwork for my financial safety. Last week came the results from my computer tomography and it shows that my metastases stops to grow and on some parts it started to decrease. So, GOOD NEWS!

Feel free to give comments or to read the other articles.

Greetings your





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